Killer Smile
by nekobotan
Summary: Alternate universe, slight shounen ai 1x2. Heero returns from war and visits a cemetary on Earth, where he meets an attendant named Death.


**Killer Smile**

Author: tan  
Warnings/Summary: 1x2 shounen ai, angstish, alternate universe, sort of an abrupt end. And the title is utterly ridiculous, I just couldn't think of anything better. ^_^. Heero returns from the war and visits Earth one last time. Destination: a cemetery, where he encounters a cheerful attendant that calls himself Death.

  
  


  
  


You know you've lost everything-- and I mean everything-- when you smile at a time where smiles are plentiful, yet yours is odd to look upon. Your lips stretch back woodenly and are as frozen as your mind, because you can't believe this has just happened. You've lost everything, and there is no getting it back. Death couldn't offer a fraction of what you had, and life could give you as little...

So what remained was limbo. A fascinating, trembling suspension from one moment to the next in which you feel like you're falling.... But you never touch the ground. 

"Congratulations soldier; you served the Blue Force well, and you've saved the Earth from a terrible invasion... You are to be commended, and forever honored..." I pumped hands firmly with the grinning skeleton of a General-- I didn't even know his name, nor did he know mine. Neither of us knew the other's purpose... We just knew the uniform, and the similar pale, shocked expressions each wore. The General moved further down the line of soldiers, each as nameless and faceless as the next because war seeps into the peace. We were nameless in the war... Still are we so. 

As soon as the General offered his thanks and the universe's endless gratitude, we were dismissed. Pick up your compensation check and go. Go back to whatever was left of the solar system because it was now free from alien invasion and rebellion, and so are you. Thank you, soldier. Nameless, soulless soldier. Killer. 

I hefted my duffel bag of civilian clothes with ease. My hand rested nervously on my hip, where the holster of my lieutenant issue pistol would have perched... I was no longer authorized to carry a gun because I was a lethal weapon. Earth wanted nothing more of war, so weapons were outlawed. 

If they knew what I am, and what I've done, I'd never be allowed to set foot on mother soil. My eyes narrowed grimly at such a thought. No one would ever know. I would give myself a week, maybe two, on Earth... I still had to figure out why I wanted to go there. I was a colony child-- born in space and destined to die there as well. But destiny had cheated me and I was insulted, and lost. 

A space shuttle waited in the colony air field. Destination: Earth. Several of the other soldiers, none of which I knew, were giving pats on the back and smiles... This is the time to smile, I mused, casting my dark look to the cement runway as I waited to board. My mouth would not cooperate and I was grateful. I didn't want to smile because I was sick to my stomach. So many things had fallen apart in a matter of days. More was about to crumble. I stepped forward quickly to follow the other civilian/soldiers across the short expanse of concrete, and up sturdy metal stairs. The shuttle was compact and cool inside. Conditioned for the long trip home. Most of the occupants were natives of Earth. Some visitors. 

I'll classify myself as an accident, I thought, scowling at the cheerful thing that seated itself next to me. His eyes were round and blue, like the seas on Earth, one could suggest. He began speaking to me as if we were friends... Tones high and excited. 

"I can't believe I'm here right now. Never thought I'd see another civilian shuttle again-- and I just had the biggest piece of imported apple pie I could find." He laughed shortly. I turned my head away but he kept babbling.... His incessant chatter was wearing on nerves I'd forgotten during my solitude... Assassins didn't converse much. 

"Where are you headed on Earth? I'm going straight home to Georgia. Mmmm, can't wait for Ma's crawfish casserole--" 

"Get the hell away from me," I interrupted calmly. My gaze never moved from the tiny port hole window, and I didn't flinch as the friendly young man stuttered. With a violent jerk he stood. 

"God what an asshole," I heard him mutter from his perch elsewhere on the plane... I was not content with his absence, yet neither would I have been comforted by the warmth of his speech and body...

I'm the epitome of a malcontent-- no wonder they jettisoned me from service as soon as peace was declared... My glare increased tenfold in the window's reflection-- it was indifferent towards my blackening mood. The shuttle jerked softly, sending my head backwards into a comfortable nook of the seat's cushion. The take off was nothing new to me. Same stars. Same roar of hyper space engines and the calm captain announcing arrival time to be seventeen point three five hours. 

Malcontent, malcontent, malcontent, I jibbed. Killers are like that. They always have needs to be satisfied. 

"Mr. Yuy?" My name spoken was a surprise, but the timidness with which it was spoken calmed me. The stewardess' voice was soft and high timbred, with a trace of tremulous authority giving her my grudging respect. She was speaking to an assassin... If you only knew, I thought blankly, waiting for her to continue. Her eyes were blue as well. Even wider and more sparkling than the talkative soldier from before. 

"I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable," she chirped. "You're our only First Class soldier... Even though you're in Third Class..." She smiled hugely with stupidity. Her white-blonde pony tail swung brightly in the overhead fluorescent light. I scowled at the unnecessary display of cheerfulness and was rewarded with a falter in her grin. "Um-- the captain asked me to apologize again for the booked flight-- We should have been able to seat such a prestigious soldier--" 

I turned away. Her smile had returned full force despite my disapproving glare. She could care less whether or not I was seated in Third Class or in the baggage compartment... But her lack of compassion for me was furthest from my mind. Everything was so far from my mind. I had yet to smile at the fortune of peace, while everything around me beamed and celebrated all that life had to offer. So many things. 

If life really did have so much to offer, I argued with the window, why is it that I see no difference between it, and death? Between beginning and ending? Both have the same outcome albeit the latter sooner. An assassin is welcome in neither, unless death brings me hell. Nothing was so similar between living and dying as mere existence in either. 

Philosopher at heart, I teased. My thoughts were slow. So many great and eventful days had rushed over me and I'd slept little. Even I required something resembling rest... With a quick, annoyed swipe of my tangled hair I leaned my head back. My eyes closed smoothly and I slept efficiently... If I dreamed.... But I knew I wouldn't. 

  
  
Soft rumblings, followed by the bump of a landing roused me from a bored dozing. I offered the stewardess another glare but she ignored me. Smarter than I realized. I busied myself soon enough with retrieving my duffel bag from the over head compartment, and pushing my way out of the shuttle. I halted in surprise as a strong, cold blast of air struck me, pushing back the hair from my face. Several people in line before me shivered and remarked excitedly on the weather-- real weather. 

Nearing the exit hatch of the shuttle, the shuffling line descended before me down the steps. The wind struck me fully, and I almost staggered. My gaze swept around swiftly and I stepped down hurriedly. It's so cold... My ears and face became numb-- nerveless and stinging... Slowly my steps slowed, and I halted just outside the doors that would bring me into the warmth and protection of the spaceport terminal. The other passengers brushed past me, but I disregarded their strange and elated expressions... 

Cold. I angled my neck to stare upward to where the holographic blue and white sky would be-- It wasn't blue. It was dark to the east, and minuscule points of light similar to those in space twinkled-- but they were suspended in an indigo void. A great contrast to black nothingness. 

To the west the sun... A real sun; hot and blinding white at its core, setting. It tainted the sky with orange fading to red and violet. A violet sky. Synthetic sunsets were never like this, I thought in awe. My lips parted lightly, breathing in air that shocked my lungs. I coughed lightly, and turned. The metal handle of the door stung my fingers and I pulled it open-- yet another aching sensation, stemming from Earth... The glass panes reflected purple as they opened, and closed firmly behind me. My hesitation in the milling crowds of the space port was brief. I had no real destination in mind, now that I was here, but I seemed to be a lot more goal oriented than any of the crying, greeting mob around me; all of which probably had homes to return to. Such wonderful lives, I assumed. 

I somehow managed to arrive at the front of the spaceport terminal. How I did it with hundreds of people trying to run me down, I wasn't sure. But I was glad. Chaos was so annoying. I burst out of the front doors, glittering now with outside street lights instead of violet.... 

"Purple," I muttered absently. My voice was dry, and it cracked slightly with the cold. I was cold-- my light cotton soldier-green shirt was nothing to the biting winds, and dark induced freeze that was descending on the area. I had a feeling... A morbid thought, that _I_ was nothing to the cold, or anything. 

My hand was stiff as it rose, and hailed a roaring yellow taxi cab. It halted before with a short screech of tires, and I pulled open the door. The cab smelled like an old air freshener-- dangling crazily from the rearview mirror as a matter of fact-- I stared into the watery, dark brown eyes that were reflected. 

"Where to?" A voice barked. I couldn't even identify the driver through the protective plastic window and all the ad stickers patched across it. I stared at one of them. It was white-- beige from time. There was no company decal on it, only text. "Springman Cemetary. Large plots available. Wartime honors. 676 Oak Highway outside of New Columbus....." 

"676 Oak Highway," I answered slowly, still studying the simple sticker. My body lurched back as the gas powered vehicle skidded forward. This is transportation on Earth? I scowled. 

"Long drive," the driver commented. "You back from the war?" His voice was impersonal. Not eager for conversation but used to the natural drone of a fare. 

"Yes." I kept my tone clipped. Hopefully he would get the hint and stick to driving... I watched the driver's eyes bob once as he nodded. The low, rasping intake of breath heralded more speech. 

"Had a son in the war... But he was a rebel. Don't know why he turned like that. Name was Art McKenzie-- supposedly a real hero, ya know? Ever hear of him--" 

"I probably killed him," I offered emotionlessly. His eyes widened... But it was true. If he was a hero-- anyone important... I must have killed him... I was important too... Did I consider it that way at the time? No. I was just another killer and I still am. "Is he buried at Springman? Perhaps I could visit him..." My voice mimicked the dark route my thoughts had taken. I was gripping the handles of my bag tightly. If the man had been any real threat I would have attacked-- driving or not. 

"I know he did wrong," the driver snapped. "I'm just glad it's over." 

Conversation over, I thought. My gaze moved to the window. We were on a highway with ramps and cars alike flashing by with high beam headlights. It made the dark darker, and it isolated me. I've always been isolated. Why change now? 

The car moved, and darkness kept me. The highways fell away to narrower roads, and buildings appeared, and signs with names that I discarded rushed by. Traffic diminished as the scenery became more rural. Trees creeped in from the distance, and began to line the roads... Forever had passed when the car slowed, and I sat up straighter, rolling my shoulders to rid them of a slight ache. A sharp turn was followed with a bumpy expanse of road. Gravel ground for a long time under the tires. One lone light erupted at some distance, and the car stopped. 

"Can't bring you no further. Thirty-two fifty." 

Ah, you've realized the benefits of keeping to the point, I reputed amusedly. I clambered out of the taxi and offered the necessary bills through the driver's window. He took them without an upward glance and I backed off a bit. I listened to his tires skid in the gravel, but I didn't watch the car fade into the shadows and distance. I walked forward. My boots made the same grinding noises that the tires of the car had made. I felt as heavy as the four ton vehicle. My shoulders, trained to be held level over years of service, sloped now, and I turned my face as far downward as I could to cut the wind resistance. Numb again. 

Headstones melted from the dark. I was aided in my traveling by one far off light, attached to a tree. There were no buildings within my field of vision, and I doubted that, if they were any farther off, I could make it to them without freezing. 

"H e y!" 

I whirled. My hands rose and were poised holding a phantom gun. I lowered them and snapped my gaze around quickly. I couldn't see anything. 

"Show yourself," I snapped. One day out of service and I'm already caught with my back turned!! I pained over such a slip and looked around angrily for the voice. A soft crackling-- footsteps on gravel-- began and I glared at the shadow. With a small pop a light appeared, shining upwards and illuminating an eerily grinning mouth, above which shone eyes that... That were blue, tinted violet... 

"Boo," he chirped. His smile was entirely too cheerful, considering the environment. The flashlight swung downwards and lighted upon my feet. I was alone again in the dark and I was helpless. 

"Turn the light away from me," I growled. "What do you want?" 

Quickly the beam of light moved away and shone upwards again at an angle. I could now see a lopsided figure. He wore blending black, and had his free hand propped on one hip. His face was grayed and smiling... Smiling... I couldn't see his eyes. 

"Sorry," he tendered cheerfully. "Just wanted to see what was creeping around in a cemetery at three thirty in the morning." 

My glare wouldn't work in the dark and I almost, almost, felt at a loss. I turned angrily and stalked on. I didn't know where I was going, and I was too cold to care. Maybe my week on Earth will be shortened to just a day. I wouldn't mind. 

The flashlight's beam hit my back directly. I spun around again, intent to maim, or maybe just terrify. I squinted painfully as the light flashed directly in my eyes-- it moved away, but not much. 

"So, what are you? And why are you creeping around in a cemetery at three a.m.?" He spoke as if I'd never attempted to flee. I rolled the shoulder that held my duffel bag up from the ground. Cold. Stiff. Like most of the other bodies around here. I closed my eyes briefly at my inconvenient, morbid humor. 

"I'm walking," I answered stiffly. A slight waver bled through into my words. It was combined with a rough shiver. Damn the wind-- 

"Okay. You sound cold." I could hear him nod, and I didn't doubt that the smile on his face remained... For some strange reason it didn't remind me of any other smile... It usually did. 

I didn't answer. My teeth were clenched slightly, and besides-- he'd stated the obvious. I shifted again, trying to warm some part of my body up. 

"Well," he sighed finally. "Maybe if you get warmed up you'll talk some more. My cabin is a few feet into the woods." The flashlight illuminated the trees suddenly and I watched my stalker saunter onto the lighted path. I shivered on the gravel road... Darkness sank in immediately... I had no intention of following. I was cold. Frozen, now, for real... My eyes closed and I shuddered... 

Wouldn't it be so easy to die... Why couldn't the war give me that, while it took everything else away...

"Hey." 

I started violently. My frozen body wouldn't cooperate fully but I reacted naturally. My feet propelled me several steps back and I once again raised my hand... Empty. With an annoyed hiss I lowered it and rubbed my numb forehead, staring at gray gravel underfoot. 

"Donnn't do that," I muttered. 

"Sorry," the night stalker soothed. "You'd better come with me or we'll both freeze." 

"You donnn't know mme," I stuttered. "I c--ould be a killer..." Stupid kid, I continued silently... Cold... 

"Sure you could!" He laughed. "But could you wait until we get inside to attack me? I bet it's going to snow soon. Love the snow and all but it gets even colder when a couple of inches fall. Can you walk? You sound pretty frozen." 

I raised my head slowly for one last, warning glare. I cursed. Still dark, damnit. 

"Walk," I repeated thickly. 

"Yep-- follow me. Stay close 'cause if you get lost I am _not_ going to look for you. I'll just dig a nice grave over by the Millerton's hill and set flowers on the marker every year for the anniversary of the tragic death of the unknown pedestrian. Come on." 

He talks so much, my mind grumbled.... I watched him turn back on his path, and something swung into the pale light. It looked like a rope, swinging from his back... I stayed close as suggested, and studied the barely visible moving object. It's-- hair, I realized. A long braid of hair swinging behind him. I was puzzled. An odd, braided, talkative boy walking around in a cemetery with presumably as much purpose as I had... Could it be, perhaps, that there are people more screwed up than me? I doubted it.

His cabin was indeed a few feet into the trees. There were no lights from it, and I was disturbed when he shoved one shoulder up against the door to open it... I waited for him to enter and turn on a light. There was electricity, at least... I walked inside awkwardly and surveyed the area quickly. It was small and very warm; heated by an electric heater placed in the middle of the room. My 'host' closed the door behind me and sighed loudly. I looked at him. 

His hair was indeed long, and plaited all the way down his back, tied messily with a black piece of cloth. He wore a pair of faded black jeans and boots. His sweater was tight black cotton, and thick, its mock turtle neck just brushing his chin. He was slightly tanned, and as my gaze swept further upward I found his smile again... 

"An army dude," he smirked. His eyes shone with disconcerting liveliness. Tinged with purple like my first sunset. He... I thought him beautiful. 

"Sit down. I probably have some hot chocolate somewhere. Either that or I could heat up some water and we could pretend it's hot chocolate..." He shrugged, obviously content with what ever alternative presented itself. My duffel bag lowered from my shoulder of its own accord, and it touched the hardwood floor. I watched the young cemetery walker shuffle over to a small kitchenette and open the cabin's single cabinet. He was thin, and graceful... I closed my eyes against my dangerous scrutiny... I was sizing him up for training... He'd be a good assassin........ 

"Are you okay?" 

I didn't answer when my eyes opened to his query. I kicked my duffel bag over against the wall and moved stiffly over to the small, lumpy sofa that was pushed as close to the electric heater as it would go. My hands unwittingly moved outward to poise over the heat source, absorbing the stinging heat as quickly as they could. 

"What's your name?" He began speaking across the room, raising his soft, soothing tone accordingly. I wearily contemplated the question. 

"Heero Yuy--" I halted before relaying my serial number. It was more than obsolete to an Earth civilian. 

"Cool," he commented. "I'm Duo Maxwell." His voice drew nearer and I looked up absently as he rounded around the sofa, two white mugs clutched in either hand. He held one out to me with a happy grin. "Nice to meet you. It's hot, and it's chocolate; best of two worlds I say. I'll let you get some color back in your face before I start babbling. I don't see very many people around Springman in winter... Gets really quiet except for Gerald-- he's the guy that runs Springman. Talks even more than I do..." Duo actually paused, but for a purpose. He sat and sipped eagerly at the scalding brown liquid. His face erupted into an even brighter smile and he glanced at me. I was sitting like a lump, holding onto the mug with pale, white hands. 

".... So... you aren't going to get any less pale?" He paused, then nodded as if I'd answered. "That's fine. You don't talk much." 

Do you give me time? I wanted to retort. But I didn't. There was no use in irking my third acquaintance of peace time. I sipped at the mug hesitantly. Sweet, and thin... It had been ages since I'd tasted chocolate...... If I ever had... 

"You were in the war?" Duo asked inevitably. I gave a curt nod. He surprised me then, by changing the subject smoothly. "Glad it's over. Would you like to stay the night, so you're thawed out and functional for a morning walk... to wherever?" Duo flapped at the air with his free hand and gave me a giant smile that crinkled his eyes. 

"Why are you being so accommodating?" I inquired blandly. The hot drink and atmosphere were making me drowsy, and somehow I'd relaxed. Little, but it would be noticeable in my character. 

Duo shrugged. "I'm just like that." His smile never left as his solemn words echoed for me. "Death has to be." 

Death. So this is what Death looks like... I stared fully at him. Not glaring, and no wavering. Duo accepted my solicitous scrutiny and was providing his own of me. I knew what he saw. Something dead. A tall, thin, pale man in dark green fatigues. My shirt was threadbare, and my boots were shined. I had unbrushed, dark brown hair and cruel blue eyes. A killer's eyes, if you looked long enough. I was shameful, compared to Death. Willowy, copper skinned Death. Male and beautiful, with sunset purple eyes. Death smiled a lot. And he had so much to say... 

"You can have the couch. It's pretty comfortable... You can use my cell phone in the morning to call a taxi if you want." 

You make it sound as if I have a place to take a taxi to. Something must have possessed me, because I inclined my head. Duo cheered smally and was quiet for the short amount of time that it took him to gulp the rest of his cocoa... He began weaving his story. Uninvited as it was, I didn't interrupt. The soft, animated tone of his voice was hypnotizing... Seductive then, as it grew lower and my awareness faded. 

I was alarmed as soon as consciousness found me, wrapped tightly in warmth and completely vulnerable-- I sat up sharply and flung whatever confining blanket held me. Unfamiliar surroundings... Oh. I stood and turned around to study the sunny cabin. I had *fallen* asleep in the company of a complete stranger... _He would be complete stranger if he hadn't told me his life story,_ I added blandly, resisting a yawn. 

"...I have witnessed, tragic comedies..." 

I blinked. He was singing, yet I wasn't quite sure where he was... There weren't many places for him to be. The cabin was small, and most of its area consisted of the living room, small kitchenette and a door. The sound of a flushing toilet nullified the mystery. Water ran for a second, and singing continued. 

"*I'll* have a perfect, day...." Duo burst out of the living room with a bored smile on his face. It grew upon sighting me, and I frowned a little. I couldn't help that I was suspicious... He smiled a lot. 

"Morning kid. Have a good sleep?" He paused and planted his hands on his black clad hips. His clothes were different from last night-- a longer, baggy black sweater and black jeans. His hair still hung in a heavy, thick braid behind him, swinging faintly whenever he moved his head. I looked at him, waiting for something *relevant* to come from his lips. 

"Uh huh," he drawled, mocking me in my silence. "Glad to hear it. Want to use my cell phone or d'you want to stay for a while--? I can show you around the cemetery." 

Why was I even here... I could have risen in the night and left. 'Death's' life would be a lot less brighter without me in it. _I'm tired,_ I realized. _... Of so many things....._

"What is there to show, in a cemetery?" I asked softly, angling my head to give him the same sideways look he was offering me. Duo grinned and winked one sunset eye. If I weren't already immune to terror, I would have shivered at the strangely amused and excited look he gave me. Duo rubbed his hands together eagerly. 

"Lostsa stuff. C'mon-- I only have one coat here, so you can use it." He loped over to the kitchen area and pulled up his dark black jacket from the back of a chair. One toss and it was in my hands. "I'll be fine till we get to Gerald's-- he'll have something more permanent..." 

I pulled on the coat obediently. It was a little tight in the sleeves, and short. He laughed, and I glared-- there was no humor in an ill fitting jacket... Unless you could count the way I squirmed to adjust the way the leather dug into my underarms. That was ridiculous. But it was functional-- it kept me more insulated than I'd expected, as we headed out the door of his cabin. There was a white-cold quality to the morning air. I took a few slow breaths to adjust my lungs to it, and continued moving down the rough path after Duo. 

We met the road soon enough, and I turned to look towards the end of it, where the taxi had come, and gone. Dry forest curved in on it, however, making the gravel drive seem like a dead end. _ 'No road out. Just traveling in, and onwards.'_ Captain Peacecraft had said that... I didn't remember when... 

"Pretty neat illusion, huh?" Duo commented. He was standing just behind me, close enough for me to feel heat and the faint itch of his presence. "Makes you feel all alone in the world." 

I turned around, and Duo mirrored my movement, stepping gracefully forward. I didn't need an illusion to feel that way. I am alone.

  
  



End file.
